Empathy & Telepathy: Lost & Found

I sat there reading from an ancient book, one of many, that Renny had stashed away in their old storage trunks. I found it peculiar how the book kept talking about “boys”, “girls”, “nonbinary people”, and“gender”; none were concepts that I understood nor was I taught anything about them by my parents or by my Renny before then.

“Renny, can you tell me what gender is?” I waited, with my eyes on them, trying not to listen for their thoughts.

“Oh, Vashti! That was a really long time ago, before my time even. But as I understand it, people used to assign what they called ‘gender’ to their babies when they were born; kind of like how we name babies when they are born. A gender was an invented description of a set of silly rules for how to interact with and raise a baby into an adult. People with one kind of gender were expected to act in certain ways and even look different from people with other genders. This caused a lot of problems and a major breakdown in communication and connectedness among people.”

“Wait, when you say a breakdown in communication, do you mean that they could not know each others thoughts?” I was truly baffled by this idea.

“Yes, people have not always had telepathic abilities or even the capacity for the kind of empathy that we all are used to and to some degree take for granted. Some people back then thought that humans were maybe a little bit more like we are now, but at a long time before gendering was something people had invented. The aggressive gendering of people left most to be more concerned about the gender of a person and less about their character, passions, or intellect. There were many times that as a child would get older they would not agree with the gender that was assigned to them and they would declare that they had a different gender, which enraged many people who were very invested in the divisiveness of gender and being able to control the actions of others based on gender rules. At some point, some brave parents began deciding not to assign genders to their babies, allowing them to define for themselves what their gender was as they grew up.”

“That sounds much better, but if gender itself was an issue and a barrier to connection with others, why encourage defining a gender at all?”

“Unfortunately, I am not sure I completely understand it all enough to answer your question. I only know that for whatever reason, during this time and even before it, dividing people into different categories defined by invented concepts and rules was very common and seemed to be important. Our ancestors would base almost their whole lives around their genders, including making decisions about the things they did, clothing they wore, and the people they had as friends, lovers, or with whom they created families. These ancestors also placed great value in money and invisible entities that they called ‘gods’, often valuing these things more than each other.”

“Oh, you are sad and I am confused. Why did our ancestors do these things?” I wanted to know more, but I was also aware that Renny was trying very hard to not let me know how sad they were.

“When we were much more divided and not connected like we are now, it was impossible to know another person’s true intentions or feelings. Because of this, people often assumed how others were feeling and this led to miscommunication and even war.”

“Assumed? I do not know what that means.”

“Assume. Imagine not being able to hear or feel my thoughts or emotions. Imagine you could only know what I was thinking or feeling by the words I spoke, the way my body and face moved, and by the collected impact of my past actions. That is basically what assuming was.”

“What a terrible way to live. I would feel so isolated. Alone. And scared to get it wrong.”

“And to get it wrong was very common and led to much suffering. Do you want me to go on about the babies and genders?”

I nodded. I could feel that Renny was hesitant, but cared to set my mind at ease.

“Very well. As these children grew up, their parents and later them too, began petitioning organisations, governments, and anyone who would listen, to stop the gender nonsense. They campaigned to have gender identifiers removed from bathrooms, toy, clothing, documents, applications, medical records, travel papers and so on. Everything around them was so gendered and so divided and they wanted to bring an end to all of it. Little by little, people in positions of power to make changes, began making the changes necessary to deconstruct gender and the grip it had on people. This took decades of time, slowly whittling away at all things gendered and having very smart people speak out and educate as many of our ancestors as possible about how disconnecting gender was for us all.”

“When did we gain our telepathic and empathic abilities?”

“This was a gradual change that coincided with the gradual relinquishing of the concept of gender and other divisive concepts. The less gendered we were, the more connected we became, the less desire we had to control one another, and we eventually shed ourselves of gender, capitalism, imperialism, and much more to become who we are today. It was not easy, but I am grateful that our ancestors chose to take the path towards connection.”

“And that is why we do not have ‘boys’, ‘girls’, or ‘nonbinary people’ any more. Huh, I wonder what gender I would have been assigned?”

“It is impossible for me to even suggest one, since we are now all physically capable of doing all human functions, but back then, some people were born with the anatomy and ability to carry and gestate babies in their bodies and some people were born without the necessary anatomy or ability and this is roughly one of the things that our ancestors used to determine what gender to assign their babies. For a long time now, humans have all been born with the necessary anatomy and ability to gestate and give birth until well into old age, with very few exceptions.”

“I think that is wonderful, Renny. I cannot imagine us any other way without feeling very sad and confused and isolated.” Renny pulled me close in for a hug and took their book from my hands. I understood that they wanted me to not dwell so much on the past, but it is a curious thing where we have come from and how we arrived at where we are now.

It was time for tea and so I flitted about grabbing cups, tea leaves, boiling water, and arranging snacks for Renny, our housemates, and myself.